The Thing That Shall Not Be Named

There are few (if any) things jewelry-related that I despise more than the term for a gift a mother receives upon birthing a baby (here’s a hint: it rhymes with “smush schmesent”). Seriously hate. To me, this term implies the mother is nothing but a means to an end, a beast of burden whose sole worth is determined by her ability to produce a baby. It’s such a harsh term, so devoid of love and romance–not to mention that it completely excludes same-sex parents, parents who adopt, parents who use surrogates, WOMEN WHO HAVE C-SECTIONS, etc. So I will not be using that term here, or ever. Mmmm-k?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate the concept of giving your partner a gift upon the welcoming of a child. In fact, I think that gesture can be quite lovely. So please don’t call me a hypocrite when I tell you that I received some of my most favorite jewelry from my husband, Andy, to commemorate the births of our own two kids.

In advance of my son Theo’s arrival in January 2017, Andy and I picked out (read: I picked them out and announced to Andy that I really wanted them, so could he please order them and pretend to give them to me as a gift to celebrate Theo’s birth, but definitely not as a you-know-what, and also please don’t wait until Theo is born to give them to me, because that would start to look an awful lot like a “reward” for birthing our child, which is really gross, you know?) this beautiful pair of diamond studs. They’re from True Facet, which sells both new and consignment fine jewelry. (Though my earrings were new, I’ve had great experiences buying pre-owned jewelry here, too!) I wear these earrings almost every day, and especially love their unique octagonal shape and delicate halos. They remind me of winter ice crystals, which is fitting with Theo’s January birth:

Before my daughter Sloane joined the brood in February 2019, I picked out this diamond spiral ring in “black gold” (“The Graduate Ring“) from Noémie to commemorate her impending arrival. (Note: black gold doesn’t exist; it’s just black-rhodium-plated white gold.) This ring is so different from anything else I own, and so very, very sparkly. I’ve raved about Noémie here before but I’ll say it again: they sell stunning, ethically sourced, fairly priced diamond pieces that ship overnight for nearly instant gratification.


Here’s a photo of me wearing my ring with a very small Sloanie:


I cherish these pieces and their sentimental connection to my kids. They remind me of the special times in my life when Andy and I were so focused inward on our burgeoning family unit, contemplating the arrival of our babies, and all the anxiety and excitement and uncertainty and anticipation and joy that came with that. So, rather than calling these the term I refuse to say, I prefer to think of them as beautiful, lasting reminders of the wonderful little lives we created together–Partnership Presents, if you will.


What special gifts have you given or received to commemorate the welcoming of a child?

2 thoughts on “The Thing That Shall Not Be Named

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